


Second Most Wanted

by tootiredforthis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Wizard Of Oz (1939), Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: Crack Fic, Cruciatus Curse, Death, Harry Potter - Freeform, Hogwarts, I was super bored, Ollivander - Freeform, Other, otherwise i'd have killed him, potter doesnt show up, random kids dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 23:03:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12641112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tootiredforthis/pseuds/tootiredforthis
Summary: If you don't need a wand to perform magic, you're pretty high on the watchlist already. Add to the fact that you've killed innocents before? You're the Second Most Wanted in the whole Wizarding World. But, let's be real, if you're the Wicked Witch of the West, nobody's gonna fuck with you.





	Second Most Wanted

Twist. Turn. Right, left. Through the halls I duck and weave. The catacombs are a dangerous place to be, after dark. You never know when the skeletons will awaken.   
“Incendio!” Someone shouts behind me.   
I dive to the floor and let the fireball pass over my head. It fizzles out a few meters ahead of me. Take advantage of the momentary confusion. “Fumos!” I yell, aiming the smoke-screen behind me and bolting to a small alcove. Disapparate now, get out of Paris.   
I leave behind an earth-shaking charm, causing that part of the catacombs to crumble and collapse, killing my pursuers. Normally I would be opposed to killing people, but when I’m wanted by the worldwide ministry of magic? Those morals go out the window.   
Apparating isn’t the best way to get out of a confined space. I’d rather have a broomstick any day. However, when I’m in a pinch, I’ll take what I can get. I apparate directly to London. Nobody will notice another passersby.   
Diagon Alley. I need to get a wand. My last one broke two months ago.   
Enter. Not caring about all the stares I get. Most are quizzical, in the “Do I know you?” kind of way. Some are confused, wondering why I walk like I own the place. And a few are angry stares- “You killed someone near and dear to me”-type stares. If they want to initiate a fight, I’m not against it. It would just go really badly for them.   
Walk to Ollivanders. Get a wand. Walk out. No muss, no fuss. At least, I hope.   
“I need a wand.” I announce. There’s nobody in the shop except for me and Ollivander himself.   
“Again? I sold you one less than six months ago.”  
“Yeah, well, running from the law has its hazards. One of which is breaking wands over and over again. I don’t need anything fancy.”   
“If you insist. Cedar wood, 9 and ¾ inches, Veela Hair core?”  
“That will do. If you tell anyone I was here,” I hand him seven galleons, “You’ll be sorry.”  
“Understood. Best of luck to you.”  
“Thank you.”   
I put the wand in its holster and stalk out. I have some kids to kill.

I grab a broom and enchant it to levitate- not too difficult. It’s one of my specialties. Take off, go north. At the speed I’m going, I’ll be at Hogwarts’ Forbidden Forest in less than 20 minutes. Sure, it would’ve been faster to apparate, but I hate apparition. Not to mention, I can’t apparate OUT of Hogwarts when I’m done.   
Arrive. Unnoticed. It’s almost nightfall. If I remember correctly, my spy in the castle told me some kids were going to sneak out to the Forbidden Forest to kill some spiders. Lights-out is just past, so if they wanted to sneak out, now is their chance.  
“Ready to go find the spiders?” Right on cue.  
“Arresto Momentum!” I whisper from my hiding place. Five students freeze in their tracks.   
“What the hell? Why can’t I move?”  
“Maybe it’s a booby trap?”   
“Haha, you said trap.”  
“Shut up! We’re clearly in danger.”   
“If you weren’t in trouble before, with McGonagall, you’re definitely in trouble now.” I growl. “I thought nobody was supposed to be out past lights-out. Much less in the Forbidden Forest.”   
“Who’s there?” someone asks, trembling.   
“Second most wanted. Fae Thropp, at your service. I think Dumbledore needs to learn a lesson about fucking around with me. Actually, you know what? He won’t care that a few more students have gone missing or died. Your deaths will be completely pointless!”   
“Please, let us go!”  
“Not a chance in hell. You see, if I wanted to let you live, I wouldn’t’ve caught you in the first place. I would’ve let the spiders get you. I think I’m being merciful, though. They would’ve tortured you. I’m gonna torture you, then kill you. At least you get the sweet release of death.”   
I don’t even bother to pull out my new wand. I simply raise my hands and say, “Crucio!” Watch them scream and cry and collapse. Oops, forgot to put them on mute. “Silencio!” I then use the Cruciatus curse again.   
And again.  
And again.  
They don’t even bother to protect themselves before I yell “Sectumsempra!” and let them bleed to death.   
Pull out a piece of paper. Pull out a fountain pen. Dip the pen in blood. Write a note.   
"To whomever finds this note and these bodies:  
These, the students of Hogwarts, will die.   
Their destruction may finally get through to you  
The fools thought they could get away with their lives.   
So, I killed them.  
-Fae Thropp, the Wicked Witch of the West"  
I climb on my broomstick and fly away to the highest pinnacles of the castle, watching and awaiting the chaos.   
It’s fun being the second most wanted after Voldemort. I can get away with anything. And the Ministry can’t deal with it, they’re so busy with Voldemort.

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly just saw a prompt and was like 'yes i will write this it will be shitty but i'll write it.'   
> all of my work is shitty so don't expect much better than this.


End file.
